Vito Lopez. (Photo: NYS Assembly)

Although Assemblyman Vito Lopez was cleared of criminal charges today, the New York State Joint Commission on Public Ethics still found plenty to to dislike about him in a revealing report that concluded that Mr. Lopez fostered a shockingly sordid work environment in clear violation of official standards of conduct.

In the scathing 68-page report, Mr. Lopez--who was stripped of his powerful committee chairmanship and his position atop the Brooklyn Democratic Party after sexual harassment allegations first surfaced last year---engaged in such acts as hanging mistletoe in his district office and forcibly kissing a staffer, shoving his hand "all the way up" the inner thigh of another staffer and more. Mr. Lopez has insisted he's done nothing wrong.

With minimal paraphrasing, Politicker has compiled some of the most shocking findings detailed in the JCOPE report:

1. The Pink Eye Incident

One female Lopez staffer described her interactions with her boss as something like a "domestic abuse relationship" in which one "can't leave." In a text message exchange, this staffer, referred to in the report as Employee 2, told another staffer, Employee 3, that Lopez had asked why she didn't wear mini skirts and Employee 3 replied, "Oh my god! That's sexual harassment!!!!  WTF!!!!!!." In June of 2011, Employee 2 would contract pink eye after assenting to place eye drops in Mr. Lopez's infected eyes.

2. The Staring Contest

At a Brooklyn bar one evening, Mr. Lopez grabbed the hand of a staffer across the table. When she tried to pull away, he tightened his grip and when she began to cry, Mr. Lopez told her he would release his grip only after she counted to sixty. He did this while staring at her the entire time.

3. Disregarding Past Abuse

When a staffer told Mr. Lopez that she was a victim of a sexual assault in college and that his behavior was particularly upsetting to her, Mr. Lopez brought her head towards him, kissed her forehead and asked if she "felt guilty" about the attack. Lopez then asked her to massage his hand. As she massaged his hand, she began to cry and Mr. Lopez told her, "I like that you're holding my hand." She cried harder and Mr. Lopez eventually told her to stop massaging his hand.

4. The Cuddling Proposal

After the hand massage ended, Mr. Lopez said the staffer would have to "cuddle" with him in his Albany apartment. When the staffer resisted, Mr. Lopez threatened to terminate her, telling her that this would be her last trip to Albany.

5. Christmastime

Mr. Lopez announced to his office that he wanted to hang mistletoe over a staffer's desk and give her a kiss. When the staffer suggested he show affection toward his girlfriend instead, Mr. Lopez grew angry and told the staffer not to mention his girlfriend again. Mr. Lopez called the employee "uptight" and on other occasions told her she "must be a lesbian."

6. Legislative Rewards

Mr. Lopez once asked a staffer if she would kiss him if the Assembly passed a piece of legislation they had worked on. While the staffer said she would kiss him on the cheek, Mr. Lopez insisted on a kiss on the lips. The staffer refused. This same staffer also claimed Mr. Lopez asked her if she would accompany him on a trip to Russia and sleep in the same bed with him. When the staffer told Mr. Lopez she would not go on the trip under those conditions, Lopez passed her a note that read: “One drinking partner, one train car, one bed – yes or no?” When staffer said “no” for a second time, Lopez became angry, ripped up the note, and left.

7. The Jagged Fingernail

During the car ride home, a staffer said that Mr. Lopez once again put his hand between her legs on her inner thigh. She squeezed her legs together in an effort to prevent him from touching her and was scratched by one of Mr. Lopez’s jagged fingernails.

8. Just The Cheek

As dinner time was nearing one evening, Lopez suggested he and a staffer freshen up in a hotel room.  The staffer reluctantly agreed. Once in the room, she stated that Lopez grabbed her face and tried to kiss her. She repeatedly asked Mr. Lopez, “What are you doing,” and “fought him off.” Mr. Lopez tried to justify his conduct by telling her that he was only trying to kiss her on the cheek.

9. A Long Drive

A staffer once said she thought Mr. Lopez was too drunk to drive, but he insisted on doing so anyway. On the drive home, Mr. Lopez again requested a massage for his right hand. She said she complied because she was worried that Lopez might fall asleep while driving and she thought the massage would keep him awake. He used this opportunity to repeatedly force his right hand between her legs, at one point touching her underwear.

10. All The Way Up

At a Long Island restaurant, Mr. Lopez told the same staffer who had massaged his hand to do it again. This time, Mr. Lopez placed his hands on the staffer's legs which she kept tightly crossed. Mr. Lopez pried her legs open and forced his hand between her legs and high up her inner thigh--in the words of the staffer: "all the way up."

Additional reporting by Colin Campbell.

Mayor Bloomberg's press conference today.

At last year's New Year's Eve festivities, Mayor Michael Bloomberg lit up the stage when he shared a smooch with the pop sensation Lady Gaga. This year, however, Mr. Bloomberg will be joined by the Rockettes, Radio City Music Hall's precision dance group. At his press conference this afternoon trumpeting another record year for New York's tourism industry, Politicker asked Mr. Bloomberg if he expects tonight's celebration to top the time he spent with Lady Gaga.

"You know, I don't--Lady Gaga, she was--I don't know. I mean, I just--you know, with these six here, what am I supposed to say?" Mr. Bloomberg stammered, gesturing to the Rockettes who joined him for the media availability. The dancers laughed and smiled politely.

Mr. Bloomberg went on to describe the difference between his New Year's dates in terms of their ages.

"There are a lot of great entertainers, Lady Gaga is a great entertainer and she's very good for New York. The Rockettes are a a great group of dancers, they've been here for  85 years I think," the mayor said. "Lady Gaga is not 85 years old. But the Rockettes are."

Taking the spotlight off himself, the mayor finished the discussion of his evening by rattling off options available to year-end revelers who won't be spending the night with the Rockettes.

"And incidentally, you want glamour, and you want fun, and you want entertainment, [there are] Broadway shows," he said. "Off Broadway. There's performing arts groups in every borough in this city. Classical dance. [Dance] from every place in the world."

Correction (4:03 p.m.): Mr. Bloomberg was initially quoted using the word "chicks" instead of "six."

The smooch.

Mayor Michael Bloomberg held a Muppet-themed press conference earlier today where he announced that the Muppets will be "the official NYC Family Ambassadors" in 2012, but all the action was the romantic tension between Mr. Bloomberg and one of the Muppets, Miss Piggy.

"Can I throw Miss Piggy a kiss, because we're friends?" Mr. Bloomberg asked before bending over and planting one on Miss Piggy's cheek.

Ms. Piggy asked how the kiss compared with Mr. Bloomberg's famous smooch with Lady Gaga, to which Mr. Bloomberg quipped "I never kiss and tell."

However, a relentless reporter later asked Mr. Bloomberg again how the two kisses compared.

"They were both wonderful," he responded.

"Very diplomatic of you," Kermit the Frog commented to the Mayor.

"A kiss with Diana is better," Mr. Bloomberg made sure to add. "Just to get me through the evening."

Watch the exchange below, and the full press conference beneath that:

Matt Doheny (Photo: Facebook)

Sex scandals sometimes seem like the common cold of New York politics, and another possible one may have emerged last night when Gawker published photos of highly-touted congressional candidate Matt Doheny sitting awfully friendly with a female companion and possibly kissing her.

Mr. Doheny, who's running against North Country Democratic Congressman Bill Owens, forcefully rejected the claims. In a statement released by the campaign, Mr. Doheny's fiancée said, “This is a very special time in our lives. I am deeply saddened at the state of journalism and politics that a so-called ‘news' source would run a picture so out of context.”

If Gawker's story has staying power, it will be reminiscent of the last scandal the publication uncovered in Upstate New York, where photos indicated Congressman Chris Lee was likely stepping outside of his marriage and ultimately caused him to resign.

There are many differences between the two stories, of course. Mr. Lee resigned facing much more damning photographic evidence -- photos of him shirtless on Craigslist -- and with more uncomfortable revelations possibly on the way.

Mr. Doheny's campaign is vowing to plow on, and they are still very likely to capture the Republican nomination, helped by the lack of a wide window for anyone else to gather enough signatures to get on the ballot before the April 16th deadline.

Further entrenching Mr. Doheny's status, he's been endorsed by every county Republican Party in the district, along with the State Independence and Conservative parties, and it's hard to see enough establishment support fleeing away from the candidate without significantly more revelations.

(There is one other Republican candidate in the race, Kellie Greene, but it's unclear how much of a threat to Mr. Doheny she poses.)